I Don't Understand

...why they have to show culinary programmes and shows that feature food late at night? I don't think my mom will fry chicken at 12am in the morning. It's very sin-inducing.

I just downed a hot chocolate with a blueberry bun. o.O

純真

NIE 的同學在msn上面問了我一個rhetorical question。

Zzzz~明人不做暗事...积点口德吧... says:
-juz tt i dun understand y human cannot be 单纯




我卻不把它當作rhetorical question，回答了她。

凱爾文 says:
-cuz we're adults




我們成年人就是想太多，心機重，愛找碴。英文單字就是drama。

Staying alive

Hello everyone. I'm still pretty much alive, just that due recent madness, I'm unable to blog as often as I used to.

从来没有读书读到那么狼狈过, so yeah. I'm trying very hard but it seems like I'm not trying hard enough. This semester is so horrid I think there is a high chance I can't even get my stipend for Year 4.

But oh wells... I'm aiming for 3rd class honours so it doesn't really matter.

Currently I'm battling with the last essay on Chinese Language and Culture and it's not as hard as the others, just that there's really a huge load to write and organisation of the essay kicks in. The final paper will be this Thursday, and after that I'm pretty much free.

Like the previous 2 years, this year I'll be spending X'mas in foreign land. The company now seems good enough. But of course there's a whole load of other people that I'd really take delight if I can stuff them into X'mas turkeys and send them to Santa in a sock.

Yes, I'm still in the screwed up CO but I'd already told myself I WILL quit after the concert and join SYC instead. Plus, I'm considering taking up violin at the Marine Parade Christofori.

Anything else?

Oh yeah, like all my cliques of friends are falling apart and it kinda pains me to be typing this down. I'll save all the finer descriptions.

And yup I'm still single although E is trying to set me up with this colleague of hers, and I find this excruciatingly embarrassing.

I think that's all.

Back to the essay.

60 SIGNS YOU’RE A TRUE SINGAPOREAN

1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.

2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor.

3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.

4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis XIV, Michael Jackson, or Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic.

6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent. (If you’re a DJ, this happens even when you’re not speaking to foreigners.)

7. You won’t raise your voice to protest policies, but you’ll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.

8. You’re forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.

9. You don’t know ¾ of the people attending your wedding.

10. You separate food into 2 basic groups: ‘heaty’ and ‘cooling’.

11. You’re never completely sure how many times you’ve sung the second verse of the National Anthem.

12. You think that what makes you ‘married’ is not the legal registration but whether you’ve thrown a 12 course dinner.

13. You marry for the real estate breaks.

14. You have kids for the tax advantages.

15. You move to where you want your child to go to school.

16. You feel you can’t walk around naked in your own flat.

17. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won’t wind up in Arts later on.

18. You suddenly realize you’re very interested in biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.

19. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop right next to an existing bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop.

20. You think people are inconsiderate when they don’t leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang.

21. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a fishbone chart first.

22. If you’re a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.

23. If you’re a girl, whenever you get together with your girl friends, you invariably trade stories about how your stupid guy friends are forever trading army stories.

24. You think the most important sporting event in Singapore this year was David Beckham switching from Manchester United to Real Madrid.

25. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten by a longkang.

26. It actually makes a difference to you being called an ‘NSMan’ rather than a ‘Reservist’.

27. You’ve eaten more times at the Esplanade than you’ve actually seen shows there.

28. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.

29. When you visit the Zoo, you wonder what the animals taste like.

30. You feel the urge to add the suffix ‘-polis’ to everything, viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.

31. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive to far away places for supper.

32. You meet in hotels a lot.

33. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa Indonesia.

34. You work at McDonald’s when you’re old rather than young.

35. You’ll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.

36. Pork floss and mayonnaise on bread is a completely natural combination to you.

37. If you’re pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.

38. You ask for the bill by miming a signing movement.

39. You’ve started referring to foreign employees as ‘talent’ instead of ‘expatriates’.

40. At the dinner table, you’re always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you’re eating.

41. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in accidents.

42. You think your boyfriend doesn’t really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.

43. During sales, you book hotel rooms near malls to enable you to shop more efficiently.

44. You pronounce the letter ‘R’ as ‘ah-rer’ and the letter ‘H’ as ‘haytch’.

45. No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are, you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O levels and A levels.)

46. You’re always on a quest for the definitive version of your favourite local dish.

47. When you explain things to people, you keep (a) using alphabets, and (b) speaking in point form.

48. You believe that you can generate ‘creativity’ through rules and committees.

49. You ‘chope’ a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.

50. You’re very forthright with your criticisms of the Gahmen, unless there’s a chance they might actually hear you.

51. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers, i.e..you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.

52. Your mother probably can’t speak your ‘mother tongue’.

53. You’d rather drink your own pee than pay someone more for water.

54. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.

55. You have an automatic sensor in your head which categorizes people you meet into stayer/ quitter, cosmopolitan/heartlander, normal/ express/ gifted, etc.

56. You think we’re living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing their school uniforms.

57. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, because otherwise it’s damn ‘leceh’.

58. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don’t know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.

59. You think having a constitution is like the condition you get when you don’t eat enough fibre.

60. You can never quite remember what “the core values” of Singaporeans are.

Taken from TalkingCock.

Confession

I have some sort of bad feelings towards many of my good friends, and it is bugging me.

BIG TIME.

For Renee (as well)

I think this is even more epic.

坦诚

I'm lucky to say that I have such a very good friend who would actually bear her feelings (good or bad) to me. Although some may not know that we're actually closer than most would think. It's amazing how she could tell me that she's rather pissed over certain things that I did, in a matter-of-fact way, which is good really.

How many friends actually do that?

Most of the time, we just keep this unhappiness within us and most probably, go whine to another friend. To term it very bluntly, we bad-mouth our friends. I confess that I'm guilty as-charged sometimes. But when we do voice out our unhappiness, how many of us could really take it in a positive light.

Usually we jump to full defence, geared in a chainmail, stout shield and shining sword outta the rock, ready to battle all the comments coming our way. Or we do the "long face" and "Silent Hill" approach. Worst, reply everything with "Ok".

So, it was really quite amazing when this friend actually pointed out something jerkass-ish that I did, making known that she was unhappy. And of course, at the receiving end, we should stop defending ourselves. Explain if you must, but please admit your mistakes (we do know deep down inside that it's our fault). Sometimes, there's no right or wrong (in this case, the fault is with me really). The fact is that you've done something to piss someone off. And for Pete's sake, not just anyone, the person is your friend!

So here's to our century-old friendship! Cheers! *clings champaign glass*

P/S: this friend is one of the first person I knew/talked to in TMS, IF you're guessing. And I'm guessing you are.

Prime Number

As of yesterday, I stepped into the age of a prime number. So I hope it'll be a prime year for me, for the upcoming 365 days.

Gracias to everyone for the wishes and presents.

• Loafers from E and ZW.
• Marvel Encyclopedia from YK.
• Guess watch from N, CYJ, AY, TYS and JW.
• The last-minute handsketched card and cake from NTUCO.
• The brownie + vanilla ice cream from the NIE classmates, and the marvelous Canele Tiramisu from YK and Z.
• The 3 slices of unintended/顺便 swiss rolls from the Mother.

If I missed you out, it's either we haven't met up, or I hate you.

P/S: And this marks my 600th post.

Anxiety

I display strange behaviour when I'm anxious.

I clasp my hands together and hold them there.
I put my weight on my left leg.
I sway around like a guniang.
I clap like a chimpanzee.

Thoughts of Monday

Hello everybody. I know it irks you to see me again, but the feeling is kinda mutual. As much as you don't like me, or rather, the nature of my work, I do not like this task either. It doesn't pay when I get cursed every time I make an appearance, at the stroke of midnight. Oh I haven't introduced myself, have I?

My name is Monday.

Yes yes yes, make faces all you want. I know the sound of my name just flipped that egg prata that you just ate for dinner. Every time when I'm waiting just behind the curtains at Sunday's place at 2359HRS, I can hear you people cussing me. PLEASE LAH! You think I like this job is it???

It sucks big time. All this work and nobody appreciates you. It wasn't like that in the past you know. In my grand-grand-grand-grand daddy's time, we were proud days.

Then God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters." Thus God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament; and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. So the evening and the morning were the second day.

SEEEE~

I don't get why you people keep thanking God for Friday. Seriously, I think Friday's such a bitch. When she comes visiting, everyone will switch to half-working mode and then I have to clear up all her shit on my shift. Sunday's quite poor thing too; he has to bear all your grumblings during the last 2 hour of his shift. Poor chap.

Thank goodness I don't have to work today. My best friends are days called Holidays.

小心眼

赫然记得以前一个朋友拿我宗教的名词来开玩笑。我跟他说“比丘尼” （女性出家众），他竟然跟我说bikini。天啊！还好当时Ris Low 还没爆红，不然我早就在他面前BOOMZ了。这种非恶意的嘲笑已经不是第一次了。当时没来得及作出反应，是在事后才耿耿于怀。

事情已经过了大概一年，这件事情一直久久没有从我脑海中散去。我估计这位朋友已经将这件不足挂齿的事情忘得一干二净了。我却向那只顽劣的猴子，手中一直紧紧抓着这件事情无法释怀，被那“空心椰子陷阱”困住。

过了那么久，我已经不再气这位朋友了（发现后还确实暗自生气了一下）。令我感到奇怪的事，为什么我那么放不下，一直惦记着这件事情，还一直秘密计划着以后他再出言不逊要如何处置他。

我真是一个小心眼的怪咖，难怪相由心生，眼睛小得不得了。

CO vs Choir

Homo Sapiens are really a contradictory bunch. And I regret to say that I fall under that class of living species. Although not as fickle minded as those of the other gender, I have to admit that I'm kinda like that too when it comes to life.

2 years of choir life in TPJC made me yearn to go back to orchestra, thinking that the splendour of playing in one is unrivaled. C'mon, everyone can sing and it's not that hard to sing. People don't get wow-ed when you know how to sing, but it seems people do get impressed when you can move your fingers at neck-breaking speed.

SOOOOO, I stupidly joined this supposedly-amateur-but-has-professional-standards orchestra, located at the armpit of Singapore, during my army days. I think it was a mistake to begin with.

Somehow, now I came to marvel and appreciate the fact that we are in fact the best instruments that nature (Sorry God, I'm not a big fan of you dude) created. Of course only if you are not tone-deaf and sound like a Banglah's drill-bit.

So, I guess it's the epilogue for my CO life, for this last 5 months to that stupid obligatory concert in January. Not that I'm gonna give it up totally, but it's not a major part of my life anymore. New pastures at the choir continent needs to be explored.

Given that the orchestra looks like it's on the verge of collapsing, and the fact I've been warmly invited by a friend to join a certain promising looking choir (not the one that cheated me of my membership fees, of course), I think the choice is obvious.

EDIT: CK might promptly comment that I'm jumping from one shit hole into another one. True, but at least the other one has less shit inside.

麻醉药

人类无时无刻都在麻醉自己。

我们
以饮食麻醉饥渴；
以睡眠麻醉疲惫；
以娱乐麻醉无聊；
以药剂麻醉病痛；
以知识麻醉愚昧。

还有人尝试
以工作麻醉空虚；
以运动麻醉孤独；
以朋友麻醉寂寞；
以笑容麻醉痛楚；
以勉强麻醉尴尬。

但是同样的是，当麻醉药效退去时，我们还是要忍着痛，硬着头皮继续

活。下。去。

WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

After the episode of the crazy aunty who missed her flight in Hong Kong International Airport,

we have our next Oscar Nominee for the Most Insane Woman Award,

Maybe I should try this too.

最重要的小事

Doesn't like spring onions.
Has 3 boxes of mints.
Likes Citrus Twist flavoured Fishermen's Friends.
Can't eat beef.
29th December
Likes cats and dogs.
Is too shy to sing.
Hakka.
Draws well.
Has a sweet tooth.

ETC.





All doesn't matter no more.

C'est La Vie.


EDIT: I really wanna wrap up the fucked up AED essay, and toss it out of the window.